Carved
by waytooshy
Summary: She thought nothing could surprise her anymore. Not after living for almost two hundred years, no. Then one day she saw a girl she was supposed to never see again. [Elsanna, post-canon/mAU, incest]
1. Prologue

**Carved**  
 **Prologue - Years Ago, Arendelle**

What the trolls never said—until it was way past too late—was that she would never die.

The first time she noticed, it was right before Anna's wedding. The wedding delayed for years, for many different reasons. Reason first was simple—the princess was too young. Then, after the initial hype died down, the nobles realized the groom was a _peasant_. Once they managed to convince them, a drought struck and money couldn't be spent carelessly on the ceremony. A sudden pestilence followed that almost took the would-be groom's life. The list went on, until the day that they couldn't postpone it any longer, as they'd used up all the valid excuses in the world—and the real reason _had_ to remain concealed.

So Anna stood in front of the mirror in a white dress, on the very first day of spring on the year she would turn twenty six.

"You look wonderful," Elsa whispered, breath grazing over the exposed, freckled skin of her sister's shoulder. This was inevitable—people were already starting to spread rumors—and the very last thing the Queen could do was enjoy the way the dress emphasized the soon-to-wed princess' curves.

"You look astonishing," Anna said back, looking into the blue eyes staring at her through the reflection. "But it's not much of a compliment, you always do. I wish I could maintain my beauty as well as you maintain yours."

"Oh, I assure you will." She smiled, her eyes venturing down her sister's reflected body, hands following across the smooth, white silk covering Anna's abdomen.

"Do you..." Anna hesitated as Elsa's fingers came together over the her navel, "regret this?" She waved her hand, indicating the wedding dress.

Elsa shook her head gently, then settled her lips just beside Anna's ear.

"Not at all," she whispered, her sister's loose copper locks tickling the bridge of her nose. "No marriage, be it yours or mine, could ever pull us apart."

She kissed the exposed skin in the crook of Anna's neck.

"You are mine, forever."

* * *

The second time, it became clear they will be together for only a brief moment in time. After the wedding, the newlyweds had taken a chamber in the castle as their own—Elsa making sure her sister wouldn't be too far away from her, in some secluded place with only the blond _Ice Master_ as company. As for Kristoff, neither of them could be certain of how much he knew. Sometimes, he seemed oblivious to their exchange of glances in the dining room. Sometimes, he seemed _very_ aware of where his wife disappeared to overnight.

One of those nights, Anna looked deeply into Elsa's eyes. She couldn't have been much older than twenty nine then.

"You are so beautiful," she whispered, trailing a finger across Elsa's jaw. "It's been over ten years, Elsa, but it seems like you haven't changed at all."

The finger ventured further down the Queen's neck, reaching the curve of her breast.

"Sometimes," Anna continued, barely audible, her lips grazing the sensitive skin of Elsa's collarbone, "I lie awake at night and watch your face," she admitted, smiling at her sister's sharp intake of breath. "And sometimes I think that you're not real," she stopped to kiss the underside of the Queen's chin. "I have to touch your soft cheek to remember you're not just a sculpture carved in ice."

* * *

Neither of them told the other she noticed, but both have seen not everything was right. It was by the time the Princess was thirty two they first decided to address the matter.

"I'm starting to get wrinkles under my eyes," Anna said one night, examining her face as she brushed her hair at the dressing table. Her fingers touched the skin softly, pulling at it. "Here's one, and there's another. Must be from me smiling so much, I guess."

Elsa laid down the book she was reading and looked in her sister's direction, studying her neutral expression with furrowed brows.

"You look nothing short of wonderful," she said after a while, and meant every word. She had noticed what Anna was talking about, but thought nothing of it; it was a natural thing, getting older, and if anything Anna was going through the process with dignity.

The brush fell to the carpeted floor with a soft thud as Anna quickly made her way over to the bed, almost jumping on the Queen's lying form and straddling her waist. A breath hitched in Elsa's chest at that, but she didn't make any sound of disagreement. Anna's face was hidden from light in their current position, and she was struggling to read the intent in her sister's eyes.

"And not a single wrinkle on you," Anna said, and her voice bore just the slightest tone of anger amidst adoration. "You look just like you did on your coronation day."

Elsa kept silent for a moment, thinking.

"It might be my powers," she voiced what was constantly going through her mind for the past months, years even.

"It might be," Anna agreed, tracing a thumb just under Elsa's left eye. "I just wish we knew _more_ , Elsa."

* * *

The talk with the trolls was something she dreaded, but yet something they all knew would come, eventually.

"Last time I saw them, they _erased_ my sister's memories," Elsa said with a level of uncertainty in her voice. She crossed her arms across an icy, regal gown she wove that morning to wear on top of her viridian dress and looked at the man beside her, who was currently busy watching the road ahead.

"They are nice, you'll see," Kristoff answered, risking a side glance in her direction. He was well aware of the reason Elsa needed to talk to his family; if not because his wife told him, then because he could well _see it_ himself. He spent a lot of time with both the Princess and the Queen since he became a part of the royal family, and grew to think of himself as a friend to them both, not only Anna. The face he'd been seeing for the last years remained the same each day. "I'm sure they meant the best when they did it to Anna."

Elsa just huffed in annoyance and turned her head around to look at the passing trees. A small, warm hand found its way to the back of her neck, where it rested reassuringly.

"It will be fine," her sister's quiet voice sounded just beside her ear when Anna put her head between hers and Kristoff's. She was sitting in the backseat of the sled, ever happy and not complaining, letting her elder—who was looking _younger_ than her by now—take the front. "We'll just ask them a single question and then we can go back to the castle. Besides, they're really lovely, trust us."

This was Anna's family-in-law, after all, as much as Elsa _still_ didn't want to think about it this way. She cast a look over her shoulder, her eyes meeting Anna's. The Princess was a good actress, but Elsa could read her too well by now; she was just as nervous as her, but covering it up with a fake smile.

The sled came to a halt after a couple minutes. The blood rushing through Elsa's head almost drowned all other sounds out.

The place looked just as she'd remembered it from all those years ago; round rocks lied in a spiral pattern, evenly covering the whole clearing. They didn't seem to notice any foreign presence until Kristoff placed a hand on one—on the troll's _shoulder_ , Elsa noticed. The rock trembled and sprouted into a humanoid shape.

"Kristoff!" the troll exclaimed, jumping up to hug the man's hips. All around them, rocks came to life, happily surrounding both the blond man and his wife.

Through the clamor of _Kristoffs_ and _Annas_ that ensued, it was a miracle she'd heard the quiet voice coming from behind her.

"Queen Elsa." The troll sounded almost sad, but certainly not surprised. She turned around to look at him, recognizing the eyes of Grand Pabbie. He had not changed a single bit since the last time she saw him. Some similarities they had. "What is the reason of your visit?"

Only trolls could be so straightforward.

"Grand Pabbie," she addressed him respectfully, despite the grudge she still held. "I come to inquire about–" she stopped, not really knowing what to say further. How does one form a question about such a matter to a _timeless creature_?

"About your magic," he finished for her.

"Yes," she nodded, casting a brief glance to where her sister and brother-in-law were playing with one of the younger-looking trolls.

"You know how to control it." It was a statement, not a question.

She nodded again, keeping the words forming in her brain to herself. _Without your help._ Despite _your efforts._

"It's not about control," she said instead, trying to call a polite smile to her face. "The very... nature of it is what I wish to ask about."

With a grunt, the troll reached out to her and instantly her mind screamed to retreat her hand when Pabbie's rough, stony fingers circled her wrist. She stood her place though as his hand covered her palm and waited, not wanting to disrupt any... _ancient troll magic_ that might be in process right now.

After a few moments, he motioned for her to get closer to him—and, reluctantly, Elsa got to her knees and braced herself against the troll's wise, but harsh gaze.

"You have changed," he said at last, Elsa's ears struggling to make out his words in the surrounding noise. "But there is still fear in your heart."

His eyes left Elsa's face briefly, and she didn't need to turn around to know he looked at her sister.

"I–" she started and hesitated again. She was a Queen, had been for years now, had been ruling an entire country and yet here she was, struggling to make words leave her mouth in front of a being that would surely go back to being a _stone_ as soon as the three of them have left for the castle. "I am not aging."

The words were blurted out before she truly registered it, and it seemed the troll had to consider them for a moment. His gaze turned from harsh to curious as he looked her over, the stony fingers still circled around her wrist.

"Not since I became an adult," she added after further consideration.

"Indeed," he agreed.

Elsa waited for what seemed like forever for him to add anything, but the troll kept his mouth shut, his eyes still glued to her face.

"That... is all you have to say?" she inquired, irritation lacing every word. When he nodded in agreement, she almost yanked her hand away. "I _knew_ this was pointless–"

A gentle hand on top of her head was all she needed to calm down and shut her mouth.

"Afternoon, Pabbie." Anna's soft voice was a stark contrast to Elsa's near-shriek just a few seconds ago. She knelt down beside her sister, and the troll's attention immediately switched to her. He offered the Princess the warmest smile Elsa has ever seen in stone. "What Elsa _meant_ to say," she started, smirking teasingly in her sister's direction, "is that we're worried. We don't know how long this will keep up."

The troll considered his answer.

"It might be long before you age," he spoke, addressing Elsa again. "And it might be never. I can only assume, I'm afraid."

"You don't know?" Anna asked, the cheerful expression she wore moments ago fading. "It might be _never_? But will she–" she bit her tongue visibly, and Elsa knew what went through Anna's mind all too well.

"Will I die?" she finished, seeing the struggle on Anna's face.

Grand Pabbie casted his eyes to the ground and hummed in thought. Elsa's breath caught in her chest. Behind her, Kristoff was playing tag with the troll children, screams of joy filling the snow-covered clearing. Above all this noise, the fast, regular thudding in her chest was louder than her own thoughts.

"Your magic is ancient," Grand Pabbie said after a while, even quieter than before. "It might be older than I am." Elsa blinked. The stone trolls themselves were older than Arendelle. If what Pabbie said was true, he could be speaking of _millennia_. "But the night you came here as a child was the first time I saw it in person. There is no telling where it came from, or what is its extent. Whether you will die or not is not a question I could answer right now."

"You'd never seen it before?" Anna asked once he was done. "But you knew how to help me– and how to help Elsa control it."

"Yes." He nodded. "I knew about this magic. It was the first time I _saw_ it."

Elsa and Anna exchanged puzzled looks. There was no point in questioning him, it seemed.

"If I may give one word of advice," Pabbie continued, "be careful, Queen Elsa. Your never-changing looks may not bother a rock troll, but humans will always find a reason to fear those with power."

* * *

Though the visit only brought more questions than answers, Pabbie's last advice stuck with Elsa for days. Despite not seeing human beings for years, excluding Kristoff and Anna, he was right about them. Her people were already noticing the lack of change in their Queen. Rumors were coursing through all of Arendelle, and with those rumors came disagreement.

Some people had been unhappy even before her coronation. Having a Queen with no King was unimaginable to them, and to have one so young could only mean she was going to be reckless. Some people couldn't stomach a Monarch with revealed magical powers. Their fear of witchcraft prevented them from seeing all the good Elsa's reign had brought. And then there were people who were content with Elsa as the crown-bearer—but as soon as the rumors of her never-aging reached them, they felt _betrayed_. After all, Monarchs were not chosen, but at least they came and went. One that would never go meant things would never change. And people _craved_ change.

A lone, witch Queen who kept the throne for ages. People soon began to voice their concerns. Across Arendelle, manifestations started. Even people who used to love her didn't want Queen Elsa anymore.

Luckily, they had an alternative. A married, non-magical woman in her thirties who _looked_ her thirties, who could pass the throne to a heir with no doubt. And luckily, she was the first in line.

The manifestations, mild at the beginning, soon turned vicious. _Down with Queen Elsa_ , they said. _We need a human ruler. Don't let the beast decide the country's fate._ Some went as far as painting _Burn the witch_ on town buildings.

And soon, Arendelle erupted in thousands of voices shouting _Queen Anna_.

* * *

"I will _not_ stand by idly while the people you cared for _so deeply_ cheer for your demise."

Anna was _furious_. She paced back and forth in the Queen's chamber practically fuming with anger. At times, Elsa wondered if her sister didn't secretly possess some sort of fire powers; she could swear there was smoke coming from her nostrils.

"You _will_ , Anna," she answered calmly. Anna didn't seem to notice, or just wanted to ignore her, and she continued her efforts to walk a hole in the carpet. "More so, you will give them exactly what they want."

That stopped her for once.

"You can't be serious," she hissed, turning her face towards Elsa. There was fire burning in her eyes. "You should lie down, I think. You might have a fever."

"I don't." She tried her darndest to keep a stoic face. "Try to look at this through their eyes, Love. They only spew those hateful words because they _fear_ me. You can't blame them–"

"Of course I can blame them," Anna cut in. She walked over to where Elsa sat by the desk and looked down at her. "You have never done anything to _make_ them fear you. They are only making things up out of boredom."

"I _did_ freeze the entire country."

"Years ago!" Anna shouted. She kneeled beside Elsa's chair and took hold of one of her hands. "You were young and scared, and you had every right to be. Since then, you have only proved to be a great ruler."

"I was young..." Elsa sighed. Despite herself, her eyes dashed towards her reflection in the window. "I'm older now, but I still look the same as that young, frightened girl. I _am_ the same in their eyes." She looked back at Anna's face. "For many of them, I'm not even a human, Anna. They don't _trust_ me."

There were tears in Anna's eyes. Elsa moved to wipe them with the back of her hand, but Anna moved out of her way.

"So what it is you want me to do?" she asked in a hurt voice. There were many emotions battling for domination on her face. "You want me to take over the throne, make Kristoff a King? Give him children so they may continue the bloodline?"

Elsa nodded.

"You're _crazy_."

"I'm practical."

"Don't you love me anymore?"

That question struck her right through the heart.

"Of course I do," she said softly, sliding out of her chair to join Anna on the floor. "I love you more than anything in the world. If there was a way to prove how I feel, I wouldn't hesitate to do anything for you. You know that."

She kissed Anna's forehead, letting her lips linger on soft skin as she inhaled the scent of her hair.

"Prove it."

"How would you want me to?"

"Stay my Queen."

She moved away to look at Anna with a frown on her face. Anna's eyes were red from the tears she was holding back, but her lips were trembling as they always did when she was mad.

"If I do, the people will rise." Anna's brows furrowed. "There's no telling when, but I can assure you they will. If I resign on my own terms, it will happen peacefully, but an uprising could very well end in us both dying."

Anna shook her head.

"They wouldn't do that. They might bark, but they won't dare to harm you."

"Anna," she sighed. "Given a chance, they would gladly tie me to a stake and watch me burn."

"Stop saying such things."

"Stop denying them."

They eyed each other sternly, both still kneeling on the ground. Elsa noticed Anna's furrowed brows made a deep crease in her forehead; the once firm, fresh skin showed first serious signs of aging. Her eyes were just a shade duller than ten years ago, and her copper hair didn't have the shine it used to, but those were all unimportant details. She was still gorgeous, the most beautiful woman Elsa had ever seen. She was aging with grace most women would envy.

"What do you plan to do?" Anna asked, defeated.

There was a moment of silence again. "I haven't decided yet," Elsa admitted. "I was hoping you could help me with that."

"Can't you just step down and pass the crown to me?"

"I don't think this would satisfy them," she answered bitterly.

"Right. You could still try to reclaim the throne after I died."

" _Anna!_ "

"It's the truth." Anna shrugged. "You can try to fool yourself as much as you want to, but there _will_ come a day I'll die."

"I don't want to think about it," she muttered. Her eyes were glued to the carpet, so it came as a surprise to her when a pair of arms circled around her shoulders. Realizing just how tense she was, she let herself relax and ease into the embrace. She placed a soft kiss just behind Anna's left ear and reveled in the shudder that went through her sister's body.

"Let's not talk about it now."

* * *

The satin covers stuck uncomfortably to Elsa's sweaty body, but she tried not to think about it. Instead, she ordered all her thoughts to concentrate on the feeling of Anna's breasts pressing into her side, on how their chest collided with each breath they took and how lovely the weight of Anna's head felt on her shoulder.

Anna's hand was pressed into her chest. She had a habit of doing that—just lying next to her, listening to their breathing and feeling Elsa's heartbeat under her palm.

"Sometimes I wonder what people would say if they saw us like this."

Elsa's eyes snapped open.

"Even if we weren't sisters, or the Queen and the Princess..." Anna paused to let out a sigh. "I would still look like a forty-year-old woman with a lover half her age."

"An enthrallingly beautiful forty-year-old woman." Elsa smiled. "With a lover who's _older and wiser_ than her."

Anna shifted on the bed, skin rubbing against skin until she was on top of Elsa. Her ribs jabbed at Elsa's stomach painfully, but it was just the kind of pain Elsa was willing to endure, if the prize was feeling her sister's body press tightly into hers. Anna braced herself herself with one hand against the mattress and looked down at her, copper hair falling around Elsa's face in a thick curtain that blocked almost all of the moonlight.

"What are you doing?" she whispered. There was darkness surrounding her, and in the darkness there was only the sound of Anna's heart so close to her, the feeling of warm breath against her lips and a vague realization that Anna's other hand slowly made its way down her side.

"Carving this into my memory," Anna muttered. Her lips brushed against Elsa's when she spoke, but she didn't kiss her just yet. "I love you so much."

Instead of waiting for an answer, she lowered herself until their lips merged into one while her fingers continued down Elsa's thigh.

* * *

When a person dear to you dies, it feels like there's a burning deep in your soul that no amount of ice-cold water can put down.

But when you know you see a person for the last time in your life, and they keep on living without you and you have _no way_ of knowing what's going on with them anymore—it feels like the fire has spread from your soul into every figment of your being. Like you're gasping for air in the vacuum. Like you're trying to hold on to smoke.

With time, that feeling grows weaker, but it never leaves. It stays with you as a dull reminder of what you once used to have, what you may never replace however hard you try. You can never forget about it, instead you learn to live with another shadow following you every day, everywhere you go.

The memory is carved into every second of your life.

* * *

 **A/N:** Don't shout at me yet, this is just a prologue.


	2. Chapter 1: Eternity is a glorious word

**Carved  
Chapter 1: Eternity is a glorious word**

 **Present Day, Pittsburgh**

Anna's face was haunting her dreams _again_.

The beginning of a semester was never easy to deal with. A month worth of recurring nightmares did nothing to help her through that time. She'd wake up drenched in cold sweat in the middle of the night at least three times a week, and even on days she managed to sleep undisturbed she still felt like a zombie in the morning.

With a splitting headache, she dragged herself out of her bed on a rainy Sunday near the end of the Summer and looked around her room. Everything she could need for the next few months was already packed, safe only for the clothes she wanted to wear now and the few cosmetics she still had to use before they could be packed as well. Miraculously, she managed to fit in two bags and a small backpack, a feat she had never achieved before. She made her way over to the kitchenette and turned on the electric kettle to make herself one last cup of coffee before the journey. Normally, she'd eat breakfast as well, but the images from her dream were still fresh in her mind and heavy in her stomach. She doubted she'd be able to hold any food in for long in this state.

Once the water boiled and she poured it to her favorite mug, she took a quick shower. Then she got dressed and sipped the coffee while working on her make up. It was still early–and quiet because of that–but her laptop was packed and waiting by the door and she had a feeling that once she sat down to work or watch some videos she'd miss her train. Even if there _were_ still forty minutes left before she had to leave.

Elsa sighed. She _really_ liked this apartment. It had to be the best one she had in the past few years, and she would miss it dearly for the next months. But however much she liked staying in it, she couldn't stand the _stagnation_ for too long. It was high time she went and learned something new–and actually _cared_ for something for the first time in a decade.

It was no wonder those dreams came to her now.

"Living my life to the fullest," she muttered into her cup as she stared through the window and watched the city wake up. The first cars were already roaming the streets and people seeped out of their homes onto the rain-drenched pavements.

What a nice Sunday morning to try and leave everything behind once more.

When she was done with her coffee, washed the cup and made sure there was absolutely no food left in the fridge and everything was unplugged, she decided there was nothing wrong with leaving ten minutes earlier than she'd planned. It gave her more emergency time in case anything happened on the way. That, plus if she lingered there any longer, she might actually change her mind. _Again_.

Getting downstairs with two heavy bags and a backpack on her back was no small feat, but she managed. Waiting in the drizzle for the taxi to come after barely sleeping that night hurt her joints, but she managed. It was only once she was sitting in the backseat and watching the city pass by that her insides started flipping. She had everything in check, at least she hoped she did. Her ID was impeccable. Fake background rehearsed and learned by heart. Flat locked, keys heavy in her pocket.

This was it. She was really going back to college.

* * *

After almost an hour of waiting at the windy station she was actually glad for the hot and stuffy air inside the train. She made herself comfortable in her seat, her tablet placed securely in her lap. A few years ago she would sneer at anybody who told her she would ever use, not to mention actually _own_ one, but even she wasn't insusceptible to change. It never came easy to her to abandon her old ways–but she couldn't deny having a thousand ebooks for the weight and space taken of less than one paper book _was_ a convenience.

Her thoughts stopped for a moment when a flash of red–just the right shade–hair passed by her window. She craned her neck to look for it instinctively, but just as fast as it appeared it was gone in the crowd of people waiting for departure. With an annoyed huff, she eased back into the seat again and angrily turned the tablet on.

After all these years she _still_ reacted the same. Red hair of the exact hue, a similar voice, a familiar scent were all guaranteed to make her do a double-take. Forever searching. Some shimmer of hope lying deep in her heart, waiting.

She knew there was no point. It's been years now since she understood that however much she wished there was no way to bring back the dead. That even with whatever sorcery that made her the way she was, there was no way to turn back time. But a stupid little part of her just couldn't give up.

The train started moving right as she chose a book she'd wanted to read for some time now. An eight hour ride was more than enough time for that.

* * *

She gave up to exhaustion and fell asleep at some point in her journey, about halfway through the book. When she woke up later, fighting off the haze of a dream and the lingering sense of _Anna_ all around her, they were already arriving at the destination. People were hurriedly leaving their seats, putting coats on and taking their luggage from the overhead racks, but Elsa couldn't bring herself to move. She just sat there, still overwhelmed by the memories she got to relive for the second time this day. The air, simply stuffy before, was suddenly heavy as lead in her lungs.

"Excuse me," the man sitting next to her said and she turned to look at him. For a moment, she saw Kristoff and almost screamed–but then her eyes focused to reveal a boy younger than Kristoff was even when she met him, with hair just a shade darker and worry written all over his face. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, thank you," she answered politely through clenched throat. Out the corner of her eye she saw a sheer sheet of frost cover the edge of the window and felt panic grip at her lungs. Many years passed since the last time an accident like this happened to her, she had lived enough with her powers to learn to control them to the fullest, so much so she could almost forget they existed when she didn't need them. But the nightmares she had lately, topped with the one she just had pushed her out of balance. She was unhinged. "B-but I could use some help with my bags," she said hurriedly to change the subject. His eyes darted upwards, and Elsa used the distraction to take care of the frost.

He nodded, then stood up and reached for her luggage while she did everything in her might to at least present calm and collected. "There you go." He placed both of her bags on his own seat while Elsa stood up and took her coat of the hook by the window. She made sure to check there was no trace of rime left anywhere.

"Thank you." She smiled at him, and he smiled back in a totally non-Kristoff way. There was _nothing_ Kristoff-like about him anymore, now that she took a closer look. What she saw before was influenced only by her own wicked mind.

Her heart slowed down finally just as the train came to a halt at Baltimore Penn Station.

The usual mayhem that ensued with people trying to leave the train as fast as possible–as if they only had thirty seconds to do so, otherwise they would be kept in that train _forever_ –made it easier to shrug off what just happened. So she took a strange man for her late brother-in-law, big deal. It's not like it was the first time it happened, anyway. But even as he passed her the bags with the kindest, warmest smile she'd seen in many years, she couldn't deny there was something _eerie_. Like the whole world was trying to tell her she shouldn't have come here.

She would roll her eyes at herself for thinking that way if not for the people who could see her now. The whole world _wasn't_ about her.

* * *

The new apartment in Baltimore was much bigger than she'd initially thought. Sure, she knew there were going to be two bedrooms, but she had no idea said bedrooms were both going to be almost the same size as the living room. Which alone was almost the size of her whole apartment in Pittsburgh. Not to mention the separate kitchen, the big bathroom and a corridor wide enough to put a wardrobe in and still pass without brushing shoulders on the walls. In a sense, she knew it was nice, _fancy_ even. As a former Queen who used to live in a freaking castle, she should more than appreciate this.

But the reality was that it only made her feel anxious. There was a reason her previous flat–oh how she wished she'd stayed there, this was a _bad_ idea–was so small. She wanted to be alone, but didn't want to _feel_ as alone as she did in this big apartment. A living room that was also a bedroom that was also actually a kitchen barely separated from the bathroom turned out to be just perfect for her. If she had to get up from her bed and actually walk to get herself a glass of water it meant the flat was _too big_. And here she would have to open two doors on the way.

Despite that, it _was_ aesthetically pleasing. The walls in every room were the same color–freshly painted off-white–aside for the bathroom, where they were covered with dark gray tiles. The floors were hardwood in the corridor, living room and the bedrooms and what seemed to be actual polished stone in both the bathroom and the kitchen. Fully furnished and properly decorated, and yet it felt so empty.

She sat down at the table in the living room with her laptop and a piece of paper with a to-do list scribbled on. Some of the things she'd already crossed out–choosing a bedroom for herself, unpacking her clothes and putting them in the wardrobe, setting the bed and putting her cosmetics in the bathroom–but the list was long and merely _looking_ at it gave her a headache. The first logical step would be to go and get some groceries, since the brand new fridge was empty. Then, if she wanted to eat, she'd also have to take care of the box of new dishes and cutlery standing on the kitchen counter. Learning where all the nearest shops and diners was on the list as well, but that would probably come naturally with time. The pressing matter, however, was putting up the freaking ad. She had to start looking for a flatmate as soon as possible if she didn't want the hounds breathing down her neck.

* * *

Only four hours passed since she put up the ad and she already received a few responses. One she'd already ruled out due to the undeniable creepiness lingering between the lines, three others have decided that the rent was too high and tried to bargain with her, as if she had any power to change that. So far, she had two appointments scheduled till Friday. The whole _flatmate hunt_ went easier than expected, though this could still change once the actual people came to visit. She wasn't really the most sociable person at her prime time, and it's been many years now since she spent more than a quarter hour in someone's consistent presence.

Living with somebody? A sick, twisted, outright _horrible_ idea, but it was part of the deal that she couldn't break out from now. The goal was to find the right person who wouldn't push her boundaries further than absolutely necessary.

With most of her tasks for today checked out–a thing she was rather proud of, she didn't expect to actually do all of that–she was riding the Metro back to her new home. It was past dinner time already and she still hasn't eaten anything that day, what her stomach decided to remind her every now and then. She considered just devouring a half of the deliciously smelling baguette that sticked out of one of her grocery bags, but decided to at least _pretend_ to still have any of her former manners. Eating dry bread while standing squeezed like a sardine amongst a crowd of people? Not very queenly.

The car came to a stop at a station and the crowd slowly seeped out onto the concrete platform. Elsa was so deep in her thoughts–doing a mental once over of her list for the tenth time–that she almost didn't realize it was her stop as well. She jumped out at the very last moment, the door snapping shut right behind her back, almost catching her braid. Which would probably result in a very unfortunate way to die, she thought morbidly.

She looked down to make sure she had all her shopping bags, then patted the front pocket of her pants to check her phone was still there. It buzzed right at that moment and she reluctantly took it out to check the message. Another e-mail concerning her add, much longer and with much more questions than the last few. She sighed, took one quick look ahead to make sure she was walking in the right direction then returned to scanning the screen. With the bags hanging from her left wrist, the plastic biting into her skin painfully, she began to type up a response. She made sure to take cautious glances every now and then to avoid bumping into anyone.

 _Who the hell asks for such details?_ , she thought to herself as she re-read the e-mail again to make sure she was addressing all the points. Was there a window in the bathroom? Hell, she didn't even remember now. She'd paid no attention to that before and it seemed bizarre anyone would. The only reason she was responding was because the _woman_ who wrote the message seemed to be a tidy person, maybe even a bit _too tidy._ Still, that was better than a total slob, and the only other woman who wrote to her seemed to be on that end of the spectrum.

Busy writing, she didn't pay too much attention to her surroundings, until her eye involuntarily saw it. A blur of red–just the right shade–on the horizon. She tried to ignore it, to keep focused on the words she was typing, but that tiny _annoying_ part of her brain just wouldn't let her. Resigned, she looked up from the phone shortly to indulge her curiosity. Straight ahead of her, in the crowd moving in the opposite direction. A girl with hair bright auburn like Anna's. Frustration boiled within Elsa's guts and she tried to pry her eyes away and back to the phone, but she just couldn't. The girl was getting closer slowly with the current of people. Her hair was pulled up in a loose ponytail slung over her shoulder, shining brightly even in the dim light of the Metro station. After a moment passed, Elsa noticed she was browsing through her smartphone with earbuds in her ears. She was nodding her head to the rhythm of her music, face hidden partially by what looked like a white iPhone. Another few seconds and it seemed she finally found what she was looking for. She set the phone aside, and Elsa's blood froze.

From the distance–no more than thirty yards–she looked _exactly_ like her. Her skin held the same contrast to her hair as Anna's did. Her big eyes were the same shape, even though it wasn't easy to tell with her looking at her feet. Her nose was small above rosy lips. Hell, she was even the same height.

Elsa wasn't even sure when she stopped walking, with the hand holding her phone hanging limply at her side. She just stared mesmerized at the girl as she got closer, not aware she was being watched. As more details came into picture, Elsa only felt more like in a dream. Every little thing matched. The shape of her face. The way she walked. The little, timid smile on her lips. She was now less than ten feet away and her _freckles_ looked the same.

She almost brushed her shoulder along Elsa's when she passed her, but Elsa still didn't move. This wasn't real, there was just no way this was happening. She lost her mind. Was she even in this city at all, or still in her bed back in Pittsburgh?

"Anna," she mumbled out despite herself. She was just imagining things. She was tired, hungry, and with those nightmares were pestering her every night, it would be no wonder if they altered her view of reality. But still, her body seemed to only want to do one thing now.

Follow the girl. To see her face again, in detail, up front.

She moved out after her without thinking, her mind at the complete mercy of her own body. The girl was just strolling along with the crowd, not minding the occasional shoulder bump as someone passed her in hurry. Her face was buried in her phone again. From behind her, Elsa could see she was answering a message on Facebook, then browsing pictures in another app.

Elsa caught up to her with no problem, but– that was the tricky part. What did she do now?

Of course, her treacherous body seemed to know the answer. She placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. At first she didn't seem to notice, but then she stopped abruptly and turned around, taking out one of her earbuds as she looked up at Elsa questioningly.

That face. There was _no way_. "Anna?" Elsa said, voice shaking, heavy with so many emotions. Confusion. Happiness. Disbelief. Longing. Fear, for God's sake.

The girl's eyes widened. The exact same color. "Me?" she said in a hesitant voice, but at the same time… it was _Anna's_ hesitant voice. "Do I know you?" She even made the very expression Anna would always make when unsure.

Elsa shook her head. Her mind finally regained control. Disbelief took over all other emotions, declaring immediate retreat. "I'm sorry, I thought–" she muttered, taking a step back. The girl watched her with growing confusion, and not a single trace of recognition. Still shaking her head like a mad woman–and fittingly so–Elsa turned around and dashed.

"Hey!" She heard that wonderful voice shriek behind her, so she clutched her bags tighter and ran faster. "Wait!"

The voice was soon drowned out by the pounding of blood in her ears. With each step she took, the thudding grew stronger, and the world around passed her by like on fast-forward.

She wasn't even looking where she was going at this point, scared the girl might actually follow her, so it was no wonder she ran into somebody. "E-excuse me," she stuttered out to a baffled man that she almost knocked over right onto the floor. Breathing dangerously fast, she looked around herself to see the crowd staring at her in curiosity, but keeping their distance. Like she was a rabid animal escaped from the zoo, ready to pounce at somebody in any given moment.

Her mind was flooded by a million thoughts a second. Anna's face, Anna's voice, Anna standing right here in the Baltimore Metro _alive,_ looking at her, talking to her, not knowing her. A boy walking a few yards away from her slipped and fell. He looked down at the floor in confusion, wondering where the ice came from.

In her efforts to escape the girl she ran in the wrong direction, so she turned away from the boy and quickly made her way towards the proper exit. She needed to get home, close the door and get away from _people_.

* * *

A few hours later–after a couple bites of a sandwich, an unsuccessful nap and a strong coffee–Elsa was more or less ready to admit to herself that she made the whole thing up. Logically speaking, there was no way in the whole universe that what she saw and heard was real. True, the girl probably looked somewhat similar to Anna–after all, redheads often shared similar facial features–and what _wasn't_ the same Elsa's tired mind supplemented with what she wanted to see. Now that she thought about it, she wasn't even sure if the girl _really_ said anything at all–and if she did, it was again Elsa's mind tinkering with her voice to hear what she longed to hear.

Anna was still dead, as much as she wished otherwise.

Elsa took another sip of the lukewarm tea she made over an hour before. It was dark already, but she didn't feel like getting up to light the cold, white light in the living room, so instead she settled for the light of her laptop. The woman from before received her message–that she finished once she calmed down a bit–and even wrote back with yet more unbelievable questions. Elsa was currently considering how to answer _How old is the carpet in the living room?_ without using improper words.

She didn't even want the woman as flatmate anymore, but answering her bizarre questions helped to keep her mind off everything. She had already unpacked the groceries into the fridge and cupboards and took care of the new dishes, going as far as hand washing every piece. Sadly, she couldn't distract herself with TV, since there was no cable yet–another thing she will have to take care of in the nearest future.

 _Besides, why would Anna look so young? Even if by some glorious miracle she survived all these years and not age, which she couldn't, there was no way to just age_ down _._

She almost slapped herself. She let her guard down for a second and she was already back to thinking about what happened today.

"Nothing happened," she muttered to herself. She was obviously crazy, so she was allowed to. "You made everything up, you stupid hopeless idiot."

That actually helped. And knowing nobody could hear her now helped even more.

After another few minutes she was done with answering, so she hit send on the message, turned the laptop off and finally forced herself to stand up and go to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and took the plate with her not-even-half-eaten turkey sandwich out, then placed it on the kitchen island. She turned around to reach into the cupboard where she put all the different teas she bought. Just as she picked out one that she wanted to try out, she heard a ding of her phone and groaned.

There was _no way_ that woman wanted any more answers this quick.

Gritting her teeth, she eyed the box sadly before she put it down on the kitchen island next to the plate, then quickly made her way back to the living room. Her phone was lying right next to the laptop, its flashing green diode forcing her to hurry up. She picked it up fully prepared to be mildly pissed off, but the message she got wasn't from the same woman.

It was another girl–additional points at start–asking if the room was still vacant. Elsa shook her head in disbelief; the ad was only a few hours old, of course it was still vacant. She quickly typed a somewhat nicer response and put the phone back on the table before heading to the kitchen again, but a ding stopped her before she even reached the door. Turning around slowly, she held back a sigh. The hounds should be fucking proud of her for being so dutiful.

She made it to the phone in two strides. The girl was sorry for writing to her so late– _hold the fuck up, it's already 11?_ –and asking if it would be okay for her to come by tomorrow to look at the flat. Elsa considered it. There was already a person scheduled at tomorrow in the morning, but it wasn't like she _needed_ to be anywhere. Shopping could wait, and the sooner she was done with the _flatmate hunt,_ the better.

Not even half a minute passed after she sent her message before she got a response. _Would around 1 p.m. be fine?_

That would give her some time between the guy in the morning and this girl to eat food, so she nodded. And then she slapped her forehead and wrote back, so that the girl would actually _know_ her answer. She was too tired.

After two more e-mails and making sure the girl had the right address and knew how to get there, Elsa was finally free to go eat her damned sandwich.

* * *

At night she lied in her bed, too scared to close her eyes and see Anna's face again. As much as she tried controlling herself while she was awake, there was no way of telling what her mind will choose to show her once she fell asleep.

The nightmares _would_ be there, that she was sure of. She just hoped it would be of the past, and not of today.


	3. Chapter 2: Cognitive dissonance

Great thanks to Aria, Darra and Flyafar for beta-reading.

* * *

 **Carved**

 **Chapter 2: Cognitive dissonance**

"... And this is the bathroom. The whole set of shelves on the right would be yours, and when it comes to things like toilet paper or hand soap I think we could either have a joint fund for that, or just buy them in turns."

The man only gazed into the bathroom briefly. "I would be fine with having a joint fund."

Elsa looked at him with a puzzled expression. "Maybe you'd like to go inside? There's a washing machine and a shower behind the half-wall–"

"I will most probably take showers at work. All I really need is a sink."

She wanted to say something more, but decided it would be wiser not to. So far, the man seemed to be the least invasive–or talkative, for that matter–person in the world. He worked from dawn till dusk and mostly ate his meals outside. He would only need to use his own bedroom, and maybe one shelf in the fridge. All this essentially meant Elsa would get the flatmate she was required to, but still live alone.

Which sounded perfect, but she'd lived long enough to know that perfect situations just didn't happen.

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you interested in this apartment?" she asked as they made it over to the kitchen, where the tea she'd made ten minutes ago waited for them. "You could probably find a cheaper room, if this is all you need."

The man smiled. "Not in this location, no." He took a sip of the tea and grimaced, then added a teaspoon of sugar from the jar on the table. "Besides, just because I won't be spending much time in the apartment itself doesn't mean I don't want it to look decent, miss Rivers."

She nodded, holding her cup in both hands. It was a cold, rainy morning again today–not that it bothered her in any particular way, but the warmth seeping through the porcelain was a nice distraction. A very much _needed_ distraction. The man sitting across the table looked as innocent as she'd ever seen a grown man look, but there was something about him that just didn't sit well with her.

"Do you work nearby?" she asked, not really sure how to lead the conversation. As weird as it was, she never needed to hold a flatmate interview before.

"Yes, two stations away from here." He smiled briefly again. "And as I said, I spend a lot of time at my workplace, so we probably would only pass each other every now and then." Elsa opened her mouth to ask, but he was quicker. "For weekends I usually leave to see my family out of city."

Elsa clasped her mouth shut. The prospect of living with this man painted itself just _marvellous_. But still, she couldn't shake that uncomfortable feeling.

"Are there any other rooms in the area you're considering?"

He seemed to ponder the question for a short while. "I have a few appointments this week for both rooms and individual flats," he started, while placing the now empty cup on the table. Elsa forced herself not to make too much of a surprised expression. She had no idea when he'd gulped down all of the tea. "But if we're being honest, I'm most interested in yours."

Elsa nodded in understanding. "I have a few other people coming to see it this week too," she admitted. If it made any impact on the man, he didn't let it show. "I'll try to give you an answer as soon as possible, though."

"Thank you."

He stood up and put his cup near the sink, then made his way into the corridor. Elsa followed him silently.

"Have a good day, miss Rivers," he said, bowing his head while Elsa passed him his coat from the hanger.

"You too," she answered simply, watching him leave. Once he was out of the flat and his footsteps echoed on the staircase below, she locked the door and let out a long, tired sigh.

She'd woken up in the morning _loathing_ the idea of sharing this flat even more than yesterday. Six appointments for this day alone, one of them last minute. And on top of all that, she couldn't fall asleep last night _again_ and she slept through the alarm on her phone. She ended up with half an hour less time to prepare than she'd initially intended.

She barely made it in time to meet with Mr Roberts and she had to sacrifice her breakfast to apply at least _some_ make-up. Now that he was out, her stomach seemed to suddenly remember about food and rumbled loudly.

Fighting with herself not to curse under her breath the entire time, she made it back to the kitchen and took a long sip of her now lukewarm tea. She glanced at her phone to check the hour; the meeting with Mr Roberts took almost twenty minutes less than she'd expected, so there was still some time left before the next appointment. More than enough to cook something small for herself or go out to grab something from a nearby café.

The second option was easy and her tired brain _yearned_ for something quick and tasty, but the responsible part of her went to all the food she'd bought yesterday. Besides, it was rainy outside. It all boiled down to _walk and no cook_ vs _stay and cook_.

Before she could decide, though, her phone buzzed. She reached out to read the message, with anxiety gripping at her throat.

 _Hi im seeing ur apartment today n im in ur area now is it ok if i come sooner?_

She scowled. The girl was supposed to come in a little over an hour, she made sure to give herself some time to prepare after the first meeting. If she was really somewhere close, she could be here any second. There went Elsa's breakfast plans.

Then again, telling her to wait would be rude, even if it was the girl who was inconsiderate in the first place. That, and if she came over sooner, Elsa would be _done_ with it sooner and she could go out to grab lunch somewhere nice before the appointments in the afternoon.

She texted her back saying she was home and not busy now, and once again reminded her the address.

* * *

Almost exactly fifteen minutes later–Elsa was counting every second, sitting in the kitchen and doing _nothing_ –there was a knock on the door. She got up from the chair quickly, cracked her sore backbone and tried to reason with her stomach to keep quiet.

She went into the corridor and opened the door. Once she looked at the girl outside, her heart stopped.

She considered just shutting the door and going back to her room to sit in silence.

It was _her_ again.

It couldn't have been, there was no way in the whole universe, Elsa was _certainly_ making all of this up but there, right in front of her, soaking wet from the rain stood the girl she saw yesterday at the Metro. The girl who looked so much like her long-dead sister that even with her eyes dashing all across her face she couldn't spot a single difference. She looked just like Anna was taken right out of her dreams and pasted onto this plane of reality.

"Hi, I'm–" she stopped and looked at Elsa, then recognition and surprise took over her face. She took a deep breath, then stepped a bit closer to Elsa. "Oh my god, it's _you_!"

Elsa tried to say something, but she couldn't do anything except stare at the ghost in front of her with mouth hanging slightly open.

The girl then took a step back again. She was blushing and obviously a bit uncomfortable. "I mean, uhh– sorry. I think we've met yesterday?" she half-asked, tilting her head. "At the Metro station?"

"Yeah," Elsa managed out through clenched throat.

The girl let out a short, nervous laughter. "What a coincidence, right?"

Elsa nodded. She was trying to figure out if she was projecting Anna's face onto the girl or if the girl's face just overtook Anna's image in her mind. After all, it had been a long time since she'd actually _seen_ Anna, maybe her mind was just playing tricks on her now.

Or maybe she lost the last bit of her sanity and was now talking to an empty staircase.

"I'm sorry about that," she said, though it didn't feel like she was actually speaking. She was in a haze. "Yesterday, I mean. I mistook you for someone else."

The girl shrugged in a very Anna-like manner. "It's okay, nothing to be sorry about. To be honest I thought you knew me from somewhere and I didn't recognize you, so I was feeling a little bad about it actually."

They stood like this for a moment, looking at each other, Elsa frozen in the doorframe and the girl still a few feet from her outside the apartment. She didn't notice it before, transfixed on her beautiful and _impossible to exist_ face, but now that Elsa's eyes wandered lower she saw the girl was holding a wet paper bag and a cardboard tray with two paper cups.

The girl seemed to notice what she was looking at, too. "Oh, that–" she started, then sort of lagged, as if not sure what to say. "I umm, I figured out that I was supposed to come later and it's like… an apology." She shifted the tray a bit in her hand to show some café's logo on the cups. "By the way, my name's Annabeth Carter."

Elsa felt herself go paler.

"Elsa Rivers," she answered weakly. _Annabeth_. Either somebody was pulling a terrible prank on her or she was dreaming a sad little dream. "Please, come in."

She moved aside to let the girl–Annabeth, of all the names she could have–pass, then closed the door behind her. She considered telling her to go away, for the sake of her own sanity, but it was too late at this point.

She spent a little more time than necessary looking at the dark wood, scared to turn around and see her visitor again.

"Your place looks really nice," Annabeth said and Elsa finally turned around. She was down on one knee facing away from her, untying her sneakers as far as Elsa could tell. Her paper bag and cup tray were standing on the floor beside her. "From what I can already see. It's very spacey and tidy, much better than the ones I've see– aaand I shouldn't probably say that, damn it."

Elsa smiled at her flushed face, before she reminded herself just _why_ she was smiling. "Have you seen many apartments in the city already?"

She moved in to snatch the cups from the floor while Annabeth stood up, unzipped her wet, red hoodie and hanged it by the hood near Elsa's coat. "About uhh– five, I think. This will be sixth. You know, beginning of the year and stuff."

Elsa nodded, though most of what Annabeth said was going in one ear and out the other.

"So… where's the kitchen?"

Elsa blinked. "Excuse me?"

"The kitchen," Annabeth repeated. She picked up the bag and turned to show it to Elsa. "I have cheesecake in here." She then sent her an unsure look. "You uh– do like cheesecake? I picked it out 'cause I figured that's like... a staple thing people like."

Elsa blinked in surprise. "Yes, I do." But she would never figure out that a _total stranger_ would come to her house and offer her some. Dumbstruck, she pointed at the door right next to Annabeth. "The kitchen is there."

Annabeth beamed. "Great, we can eat it right away." She started in the direction of the kitchen in a bounce, but then abruptly turned around again. "Or maybe I should put it in the fridge and you'll show me around first?"

"Sure." Elsa gave her a stiff nod. _She's so cheerful_. Every second Elsa had her in this house only felt more surreal. She should have just closed the damned door the very moment she saw her. Instead, she was about to give a _home tour_ to this girl.

Like she'd ever be able to even consider living with her.

She followed her into the kitchen and placed the cups on the table, while Annabeth looked for some space to put the cheesecake in the fridge.

"So, this is the kitchen," Elsa started mechanically once Annabeth closed the door and looked at her. She still had no idea why she was doing it, but it was out of her mouth already and there was no turning back. "You've already seen the inside of the fridge. I think that the fair thing would be to split the space fifty-fifty, but I'm willing to give up more if you need it."

Mr Roberts was a nice, non-intrusive person who maybe gave her a little bit of an odd vibe, but he _certainly_ didn't remind her of her over-an- _age_ -long-dead sister.

"I'm not much of a cook to be honest." Annabeth scrunched her nose. "I'd probably need like a shelf or two to keep some toast and cheese and bac–" she stopped and gave her an uncertain look again. "You're not vegetarian or anything?"

Elsa shook her head. "Why?"

"I don't have anything against them, honestly, but my friend used to live with a vegetarian roommate for a while and he would be _so pissed_ whenever she bought bacon or… you know, meat stuff. He would claim it contaminated his things." She shrugged. "And I love bacon. I couldn't live without it."

"I won't have anything against your bacon in the fridge."

Elsa mentally slapped herself. She was not going to have anything against the bacon because there _wouldn't_ be any of _Annabeth Carter's_ bacon in that fridge _ever_.

Annabeth smiled brightly. "Cool." They stood awkwardly looking at each other again for a moment. "So uh… the rest?"

"Yeah, umm–" Elsa's brain took a second to reboot, caught up in trying to picture Annabeth in one of Anna's favorite dresses for comparison. "That's the sink," she said the first thing that came to her mind, pointing at the sink in question. Then she noticed Annabeth's goofy smile out the corner of her eye, realized what she'd just said and blushed. "W-Which you probably figured out already. There's a dishwasher here, too." She moved aside to reveal the dishwasher lodged between two cupboards. "As for the dishes and cups, they're all in those two cupboards over the sink, and the cutlery and utensils are in this drawer." She patted the drawer closest to the fridge. "There's still a lot of space if you want to bring any of your own, but I've bought more than enough for two people."

Annabeth shrugged. "I only have like one favorite mug that I need to bring."

"Great." Elsa quickly went through a mental list of things-to-tell. "Oh, as for the dish soap and all of that, we can either agree to buy it in turns once it runs out or have a household fund."

Annabeth nodded in understanding, before her eyes widened as if she just remembered about something important.

"Speaking of that, is the price you've stated in the ad only rent or rent and utilities?" Before Elsa could answer, she quickly added, "sorry if that's a stupid question."

"No, it's not," Elsa assured her quickly. "And it's just the rent."

Annabeth's face fell a bit. "And how much on average are the utilities per month?"

"I have no idea." Elsa furrowed her brows. "I only just moved in here. But in any case, I must have forgotten to put that in the ad, but you would _only_ pay the rent for the room. I'll take care of the utilities myself."

"Are you sure?" Annabeth asked with an uncertain look.

"My parents are paying for everything, and I'm only getting a flatmate because I have no use for the additional room," Elsa lied smoothly. She'd prepared answers for this kind of questions beforehand and rehearsed them countless times in the night. Not even the shock of seeing Annabeth on her doorstep was enough to make her forget them.

It seemed like Annabeth wanted to say something, but she stopped herself.

Elsa realized what it looked like; it painted her as a typical rich kid with too much money and time on her hands. She didn't care about that, though. From a certain point of view her life right now was exactly that, safe maybe for the kid part. The Hounds paid for the flats, they gave her the money she needed to survive, and overall in the time she'd spent under their protection she had only heard the word 'no' maybe twice.

She led Annabeth out of the kitchen and into the living room, to the accompaniment of _oohs_ and _aahs_ from the girl.

"These windows are huge!" she exclaimed, getting so close to one she almost pressed her nose against the glass. "The view is nice, too."

Elsa got closer to her, but still kept a safe, two feet distance. "If you like looking at streets, yeah."

"I do, actually."

Annabeth turned to look at her and Elsa's heart sank for the umpteenth time this day. There was the same sort of childish curiosity in her eyes that she'd so often seen in Anna's. She quickly pretended to look past her and out the window, hoping her face didn't betray just how hurt she was feeling inside.

"I don't want to make overly complicated rules when it comes to the living room," she forced herself to speak, but she still couldn't bear to look her in the eyes. "You'd be free to use it whenever you want, and I wouldn't mind it if you had guests over here, just as long as it's not past 11 p.m., unless we agree on that beforehand."

"Roger that."

"And as for cleaning of the common spaces, I'd say we should put up a schedule," she continued, finally making herself look at the other girl. Annabeth nodded vigorously. "Except for things like spilled coffee and such. And no making mess on purpose."

Annabeth laughed. "Aww, and I thought I could prank you by waltzing all around in dirty shoes when you're on cleaning duty."

Elsa smiled, too, though mostly out of courtesy. While Annabeth's laughter was infectious and her already friendly tone warm and inviting, the eeriness of the whole situation was more than enough to keep her from getting humored.

"I'll show you the room," she said quickly to change the topic.

Annabeth seemed to visibly fire up at that. She was practically bouncing all the way through the living room and into the corridor, where Elsa stopped in front of a large, darkwood door with a frosted glass pane.

"This is the bathroom." She pointed at the door. "The room next to it is mine, and this one," she turned around to face the last door in the corridor, "is gonna be yours."

She almost bit her tongue. This was _certainly_ not going to be Annabeth's room. Even if a large, but completely irrational part of Elsa wanted her to move in right this instant just so she could stare at her indefinitely.

And probably creep the hell out of both her and herself.

Annabeth opened the door and peeked in. "Oh, wow."

The room was just a tiny bit smaller than Elsa's, but where Elsa's room only had one window overlooking a back alley, there were two large windows on the opposite wall in this one. Aside from a double bed, a wardrobe and a writing desk, there was no furniture yet. Elsa had figured it might be better to leave it to the future tenant to decide.

"I ordered a rug and curtains to be delivered on Thursday, but the rest would be up to you," she said while she watched Annabeth skip across the room. "Beige, to match the walls."

"Wouldn't blinds be more practical?" Annabeth asked, turning from the window to face Elsa.

"I– maybe." Elsa shrugged. "But I saw some curtains that would look good in the living room and went ahead and ordered the same for the bedrooms. I'm a bit, uh… old-fashioned with those things."

"Just wait for when you want to watch a movie during the day and block the sunlight with light-colored curtains." Annabeth snorted. "But yeah, I admit they will look better."

She went on to check and touch everything in the room–from furniture to walls, Elsa was surprised she didn't kneel to knock on the wooden floor–while Elsa just stood there in the doorway, looking at her. To say she felt odd would be the understatement of the _century_ , and she was in a good place to make that assumption. It was as if somebody took the pictures of teenage to mid-twenties Anna from her memories, molded them into a breathing person and placed her in a modern apartment dressed in skinny jeans and a gray NASA t-shirt.

Aside from her clothing–and hair that she still kept in a ponytail, just like yesterday–there were really no differences Elsa could pin down. Everything, from the exact color of her eyes to each freckle on her nose was just like how she remembered from over a hundred and fifty years ago. There was only one rational–and only one _possible_ at all–answer to this. The saddest, but the simplest.

She was dreaming so vividly it _almost_ felt like the reality. It wouldn't be the first time this happened, too.

Suddenly she was very aware of the fact that Annabeth asked her a question.

"Sorry, what?" she asked back, somewhat harshly. This whole situation was beginning to wear her out.

Annabeth made an uncertain face. "I asked if you want to eat the cheesecake now."

There was something in her voice that instantly made Elsa feel stupid for how she'd just acted. "I still haven't shown you the bathroom–"

"I know, I know," Annabeth cut in quickly. A smile was back on her face, but it did nothing to ease the lump down Elsa's throat. "But the coffee is probably not terribly cold _yet_ , so I'd like to drink it soon."

"Oh." Elsa moved aside to let her pass again. "Alright, then."

Annabeth made a beeline right across the corridor and back to the kitchen. Before Elsa caught up with her, the cheesecake was already out of the fridge, currently lying in its bag on the counter.

"Plates in this cupboard, right?" she asked, and stood on her toes to reach it once Elsa gave her a short nod. She took two saucers out, hummed in approval and placed them on the small kitchen table behind her.

Elsa just stood there awkwardly. She couldn't offer to help–she probably _should_ , but Annabeth seemed to be more than happy to prepare things by herself–but she couldn't just sit down and wait either. That would be highly improper.

"Ready," Annabeth announced once both–much larger than Elsa expected–pieces of the cheesecake were on the plates, complete with cake forks that Elsa didn't even know were in the drawer. She sat down on the chair under the kitchen window, and Elsa thought it proper to take the one on the other side of the table.

She reached for one of the paper cups still standing in the middle of the table and briefly brushed the top of her hand against Annabeth's wrist. The tiny amount of sudden friction was enough to almost physically _burn_ her and instinctively she yanked the hand back, eyes wide.

"Oh damn, I'm sorry," Annabeth blurted out hurriedly, sending her a shocked look. "I didn't realize it was still this hot, are you–"

She full-on _grasped_ Elsa's hand and unfolded it to look at her fingers. Elsa's mind completely blanked out.

This was an actual, corporeal human being. This was an actual, corporeal human being _sitting in her kitchen looking like her sister_ , not a dream, not a spectre, this was a touch so real her brain could never just make up even when she wished for it the most.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded, sliding her hand out from between Annabeth's fingers. Her heart was racing and she was pretty sure she gasped when Annabeth caught her. "Just thermal shock, that's all", she lied. "It's cold here."

Annabeth didn't look very convinced, but she didn't press on. She sat back down– _she jumped up from her seat for her–_ and relaxed, taking a sip from her own cup.

"This is a very nice flat, you know," she started softly, looking into the coffee. "And good location, too. Near enough downtown and the train station, and still a perfect commute to my Uni."

Elsa shook off the haze from her mind. She should say something.

"What do you study, Miss Carter?"

Annabeth blushed. "Marine biology. This is one of the only reasons I came here and not somewhere else." She lifted her gaze to look Elsa straight into her eyes, that something fiery glistening in hers again. "And just Beth is fine."

Elsa gulped. Beth was… still better than the alternative. She couldn't even think about calling her her sister's name. The very idea left a foul taste in her mouth, like every letter was a slimy, squirming mass that covered her tongue.

Yes, Beth was safe. Beth she could do.

She tried not to focus on the particular wording her thoughts chose. "Beth, then," she echoed, trying to focus her eyes somewhere on Annabeth's shoulder. "I heard the aquarium here is quite the sight."

"It's one of the best in the entire country." She perked up. "Certainly the best on the East Coast, not to mention it fully collaborates with the Bio department of the University. I hear that students get a special discount and access to additional perks, and there are four guaranteed field classes per term… what do you study?"

The question was so sudden Elsa just blinked in surprise.

"I uh, I assumed you study something." Annabeth flustered. "Sorry if– but you don't look old enough to be out of uni yet and– I mean that's totally fine if you're just _not_ studying out of choice and also I mean if you are older then like that's great too you just look very good– I-I mean not old–"

"Physics," she interrupted quickly before Annabeth could choke on air. "At UMD."

Annabeth sat back in her chair again, visibly content with Elsa not mentioning any of her rambling. "Physics, huh… That sounds like one of my worst nightmares," she said begrudgingly, and Elsa snorted. Annabeth quickly shook her head. "Don't get me wrong, sorry. I admire anyone who understands… any of it, honestly. And same uni! That's great, right?"

"Right."

Elsa had experienced a fair deal of uncomfortable silence in her life, but never _this_ heavy. They sat quietly in the cold, lifeless kitchen, sipping on their coffees and picking at their cakes.

Every now and then, Elsa would send her a glance. She still couldn't believe what was happening. Annabeth looked like her, she sounded like her, she _acted_ like how Elsa would expect her to act. She had the same laugh, the same spark in her eyes.

But she didn't seem to recognize Elsa. It was like she was a genuine stranger to her.

"This is some good cheesecake," she chirped suddenly, making Elsa jump and drop her fork. "Sorry."

"Not your fault," Elsa muttered, mentally scolding herself for showing just how much on edge she was. She bent down for the fork and chipped off another, big bite, then put the whole thing in her mouth. "If iff."

Annabeth looked at her dumbly for a second. "I bought it in a small café just around the corner. I had no expectations at all, but it certainly exceeded those I could have."

Elsa smiled. This was exactly what she meant.

"And there's basically _everything_ you need in a walking distance," Annabeth sighed. "When I read the ad I thought to myself, it will either be a literal middle of nowhere or the apartment looks worse than the pics."

Elsa cocked an eyebrow.

"Because both good location and decent interior is just unreal for this price."

There was something suspicious in her stare.

"Like I said, I'm looking for a tenant because I have nothing to do with the other room," Elsa said indifferently, shrugging, but inside her heart was hammering. The reasoning didn't make much sense, but she didn't even want it to. She was only doing this because that was part of the deal.

Annabeth was still looking at her with doubt.

"I take it you are interested?"

"Of course I am!" she answered a little too quickly and too loudly. "Sorry if I made it sound like I'm… ungrateful? For a lack of better word?"

Elsa nodded.

"But I really am. Just trying to figure out why _you'd_ be interested in a roommate." She made a sour face, then pointed at herself. "Especially one like me."

It was Elsa's turn to send her a look. "What do you mean by that?"

Beth sighed. "Just…" she faltered, looking for the right words. "I mean, you– _I'm_ not the kind of person that somebody could expect to live with you."

She looked down at the table, and from her expression Elsa could tell she just said something she instantly regretted.

This girl… this beautiful, cheerful girl, whom Elsa had known for what, twenty minutes? and who already made her smile in spite of the obviously unfortunate circumstances was just putting herself down in front of her.

And there wasn't a whole lot Elsa could do about it.

"I still have no idea what you mean by that," she feigned ignorance, "I think you'd make a wonderful roommate. Certainly better than any of the ones I interviewed already."

This was not true. Having her here would make every second of Elsa's life a living hell– _especially_ if there was a chance they would see each other at uni as well. But when Beth's smile slowly lit up her face again, Elsa could only look at her and see Anna after she told her something she thought she did wrong was not actually wrong.

It hurt. It hurt like a boulder crushing her entire body.

But that smile was beautiful.

"Thanks," Annabeth almost whispered, taking another sip of her coffee. "It'd be cool to live here. The apartment is better than the ones I've seen before," she said candidly, "but I've already told you that, by accident." She lifted her eyes to Elsa again, and that stare was enough to make Elsa's heart stop. "You seem cool, too."

It wasn't often that Elsa felt hot. Suddenly, the room was stuffy, and her mind reeled in delirium.

Beth's phone pinged on the table, and she looked back down at it, releasing Elsa from under the spell. "Damn, I'll have to go," she said quickly, already standing up. "I have a job interview at a campus café and they just asked me to be earlier, and I haven't yet checked how to get there exactly."

Elsa wanted to say something about the bathroom that Annabeth hasn't seen yet, but she bit her tongue. She was obviously in a hurry. There was no point in keeping her here and making her miss her interview to see a bathroom she wasn't going to use, anyway.

She followed Annabeth to the corridor, where she was already on the floor, pulling on her shoes.

"Thanks for having me earlier," she said, springing back up for her, still noticeably wet, hoodie. She put it on with a grimace, then pulled her hand out. Elsa took it almost naturally, marvelling at how real it was once again. "Hope my bribe worked?"

Elsa blinked in shock.

"The cheesecake." Beth laughed at her expression. "Just kidding. Call me, okay?"

"I still have to decide." She let go of her hand and let her own fall stiffly to her side. "Two days tops, probably. I won't leave you hanging."

Annabeth smiled. "Thanks, I appreciate that." She turned towards the door and opened it swiftly, then almost ran down the first flight of stairs, before she stopped and looked back at Elsa. "See you around."

Elsa waved until she could no longer see her red hair down the stairs.

She went back in the apartment and locked the door before she allowed herself to let out the pitiful cry that threatened to burst out her chest. This was impossible. It simply couldn't have just happened, but it _did_ , and now she promised to call her to _tell her she can't live here_. If she really was just like Anna, Elsa could already imagine the hurt voice in which she'd answer. _That's fine_ , probably. Maybe just _okay._ And _thanks for the call_.

She made her way to the couch and all but collapsed on top of it, unable to keep her body up anymore. The empty living room was suddenly _deathly quiet_ without Annabeth talking and touching everything. She had been out the door for a whole of two minutes and Elsa's heart was already yearning for the next time she saw her.

On campus, probably. She'd have to make sure to never go into any of the campus cafés, just to be safe.

"What the fuck," she whispered out loud just to hear something.

She was losing her mind. Served her kinda well for almost two hundred years.


End file.
